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Social Media

When is too much just too much? I'm talking about social media, were everybody can find out what everybody else is doing RIGHT NOW! As a society, when did we get to the point that we had to know everything about everything the moment it happens? Honestly, I think it takes some of the fun and mystery out of things. Not only that, it's slightly narcissistic and potentially dangerous. I'll elaborate.

I feel we now live in a society where everyone wants and needs to be famous. The old saying, "everyone gets 15 minutes of fame," doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. It’s an age when people achieve fame for no reason what so ever, the more followers you get, the more fame you can potentially achieve. When you have thousands of followers, yet you have in no way contributed anything useful to society in any form or fashion, and all you can put on your Twitter is, "I just ate tacos, Mmm Yummy," maybe it's time to rethink your life. I guess it just blows my mind that people who have nothing important to add or say, can suddenly have such a loud voice in the world. (See any Kardashian) It's scary really.

Now don't get me wrong, this is a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. I actively use many different forms of Social Media, including the big two, Facebook and Twitter. (Used to be the big three, but no one uses MySpace any more, do they?)Hell, this very page is covered with links to my other sites. Just like everyone else, I use these tools to say really ridiculous things, all in an effort to get people to notice what I am doing. The difference here is I'm trying to be useful. I have a purpose; I have a mission other than I want a million followers. (I do not want a million followers). I am a writer who would like to get paid to write. I'm not a blogger or a journalist, (by the way, bloggers aren't journalists and all blogs should be considered opinion, not fact... this one included) I am a fiction writer. I want to entertain, and not by telling you about the dump I just took. (That is something I really posted this week for the hell of it) So I use these tools to get my name and brand out there, hopefully entertaining as I do it. In a world filled with so much competition, I have to do things of this nature to try and stick out above everyone else.

Notice how I referred to these as tools, and not the only thing that makes me socially relevant in life. Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with people. I'm not arguing that. Twitter, well Twitter to me is a little more complex because on one hand, there are reasons why it's useful to have a public text message service, on the other hand... why do I need to know everything a person does every second of the day. It's sad, and I'm sad for doing it. Unfortunately, I must. Then you've got things like four square, another thing I’m guilty of doing. If you ever wanted a stalker, this is the app to use, because they will always know where to find you.

Sorry, this blog is more of me thinking about loud. I guess I just don't see how as a society, we've come to this. I think the internet is a great tool, it finally has allowed everyone to have a voice that can be heard. The only problem is no one really ever has anything to say. Not everyone can be famous, no matter what the programming on MTV, Bravo, and Lifetime make you think. If you want to be a household name, do something... tell a joke, tell a story, save a life, play a sport, change the world, and then, do that better than anyone else and you'll get your moment. Just remember, not everyone can… If they could, then no one would be special, and then what's the point. I guess all I'm saying here is, “when is too much, just too much?”

Now if you'll excuse me I need to proof this blog before I post it on my Facebook and Twitter page. Later...

JLP

My Thoughts On The World Cup

With the exception of women's soccer in the 90's, I've never really watched a lot of the sport. So this year's World Cup, though not my first, is the first one I've really ever paid attention to, and I just wanted to take the time to point out a few things that I've noticed so far in group play.

THE US GOT ROBBED: It is true, the US got robbed in what would have been an amazing come from behind victory over the Slovs. However, it is important to point out; the US should have never been that position. As anyone who has ever played sports knows, anyone can win a close game.

THERE ARE A LOT OF DIVA"S IN SOCCER: And you thought American athletes are bad. I have never seen so much internal team fighting in my life. No wonder smaller countries with players you've never heard of are winning upsetting the pot, they play as a team. Soccer Diva's, SHUT UP and play!

TOO MUCH BUZZING: If you've watched a game on TV, you've probably noticed that there seems to be a serious bee problem in South Africa. Every game, no matter which stadium, you can hear them swarming outside. I'm very much concerned for the safety of the people there in South Africa.

I HATE THE FRENCH: Not only did they lose to the Mexicans, but then they scored against the South Africans, preventing them from moving on to the next round, thus, allowing the Mexicans to move on to the next round. Yeah I know, there was a lot of in-house fighting going on with the team, but if you are going to quit, quit.... don't let the Mexicans move on. Do you know how much "Viva la Mexico" crap I've got to hear now? Of course it's no shocker that the French dropped the ball here. That county has a history of under achieving. I've listed my top five list of greatest French defeats.

5) Waterloo - Napoleon's forces lose the decisive battle to the coalition army commanded by the Duke of Wellington, thus putting an end to Napoleon's 100 days return from exile. Maybe had Napoleon stayed out of that phone booth with Bill and Ted, things might have ended differently.

4) World War I

3) The French Men's 2010 football club's performance in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

2) World War II

1) Lance Armstrong - Much like the Germans, the guy owns the French, and no matter what they do, they can't beat him.

Kick- Ass and the movies of 2010

I saw Kick-Ass yesterday afternoon, and let me tell you, the critics were right. This movie isn't fit for kids. There is some very bad language spoken by a little 11 year old girl. Also, she manages to kill a shit load of people. This movie isn't for kids, and it's awesome. Somehow, parents think a movie that stars kids, or anything based on a comic book is kid friendly. Parents, you're stupid. This is an action movie, one the best I've seen in some time. What happens when re-cast 'Die Hard" with a little girl, you get Kick-Ass. If you love you're action flicks, go see this movie, and see in the theater, it's meant to be shared with a crowd.

This brings me to my next topic today. A good friend of mine told me today that he no longer intends to see movies in theaters because he is tired of spending that much money on a ticket when movies turn out to suck. While I will agree with him on the fact that there seems to be a lot of crap dumped on us by studios, to swear off movies all together, well, that's a little hard to swallow from a man who is a filmmaker. That would be like a musician who didn't like concerts. I guess my thing here is, and this goes not only for him but also for anyone else who enjoys cinema.

Not every movie is meant to be seen in the theater. In fact, I would say that most aren't really worth what you have to pay these days. There are, however, that I feel, must be seen in the theater with a crowd. I'm not old enough to have seen the original Star Wars trilogy when it came out, but I did see the re-release of the special editions, and it was the first true movie event I ever got to experience. Then, of course, came Episodes I, II, and III, and though they, in no way lived up to the hype, I can't imagine not seeing them in the theater with that crowd. Sometimes, even a bad movie must be seen with a crowd. Like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. (Sorry George Lucas) That Movie was shit, pure shit, but seeing it with that crowd, those folks who like me, wanted to see Dr. Jones in another adventure. We all took that ride together, and you know what, I'm glad I did. Granted I don't acknowledge that movie's existence and will never watch it again.

Now, net ever movie is worth your bucks, and even some that you think maybe, will only let you down. So what qualifies a movie worth it? That's up to you and your tastes, but I have compiled a list of this summer's movies that you have to see, because either they are going to rock your socks off, or they will be colossal failures, either way, it should be fun and seen on the big screen. Anything else is just a gamble.

The Losers - April 23
Iron Man 2 - May 7
Shrek Forever - May 21
The A-Team - June 11
Toy Story 3 - June 18
Inception - July 16
The Other Guys - August 6
The Expendables - August 13
Machete - September 3
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - November 19
True Grit - December 25

Dinner Plans

TGIF

For the last few weeks I've noticed that my Fridays seem to come faster and faster. I've heard that as you get older, time seems to speed up and the next thing you know, months turn into years. Honestly, I agree with that. Even though I'm still in my 20's (be it the twilight of my 20's), I notice each year passes more quickly than the last. So why should I be shocked when I realized my Fridays seem to happen more frequently than they used too. For me while I was like, "Finally, it's Friday," The sky would part, and music would play. Then last week I realized, "I live for Friday." In fact, I would wager that 90% of Americans live for Friday. Sure, Friday kicks off the weekend, but the faster they arrive, the faster time passes and you know what that means. Of course, I know how this happens, you get caught up in the day-to-day grind of life, you wake up, go to work, go home, have dinner, do some work, maybe watch an hour of TV, then it's time for bed... day in and day out. It's defeating. Of course you can do what I've done the past two weeks and try to do as much as possible, barely sleeping and then walk around like a zombie every day. Then I assure you, Friday will never come soon enough.

In other news, Heather drug me to a wonderful show at the iO West Theater last week. I say, "drug," but I was more than happy to go. The show was Beer, Shark, Mice, an improv troupe starring Mike Coleman, Pat Finn, Neil Flynn, Pete Hulne, David Koechner, and Paul Vaillancourt. Yeah, those guys! Anyway, it was a great show, and their last I was told, so if you missed out, sucks to be you. There's not a day that goes by now were Heather doesn't call me, Text me, or in some way communicate the words: "Hey, there's a dead body over here," to me in some fashion.

So any way, Happy Easter everyone (if you choose to celebrate Easter) and have a nice weekend. Oh, keep an eye out... all I can say is Stickers!

JLP

LA Paranormal - That’s right, I’m in demand!

This week I began work Producing the behind the scenes featurette for the film “LA Paranormal.” So far it’s been an enjoyable experience, and I expect it will continue to be. I’m not sure what I can and can’ say about the film, even though I have not signed any formal disclosure contract, I’ll tell all can, without giving anything away.

LA Paranormal is written and Directed by John Gonzales and stars Mike Hatton, Mathew Temple, Tres Dean, and J.C. Mac. The movie centers around the supernatural investigation team of “LA Paranormal” and their documentary style television show, ala SyFy’s “Ghost Hunters.”

I’ll back on set shooting this weekend and hope to bring you some footage very soon via the interwebs. Until then, stay tuned for more updates.

Also, keep a look out for some new videos with the guys from In Rare Form. I should get a chance to shoot with them again in the coming weeks. Anyway, until next time…

JLP

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH... At Least the Irish Stew

I hope everyone had a fun and safe St. Patty's Day. I had the pleasure of hanging out with my In Rare Form friends (and guests) at a place called "Pineapple Hill,” which is the local watering hole/sports bar type place. It was a good time, shared in a couple of drinks, had a few laughs, and ate that damned Irish Stew.

Out of curiosity, I have looked up the LA County Health Department score for Pineapple Hill. It's a 96. Not too bad, right. Actually that's really good. That's why I'm shocked that my post St. Patty's Day has been taken over by Montezuma's Revenge. That's right, you heard me, and that's all I'll say as far as details go. I wasn't the only victim though; there are two other confirmed victims of our Mexican foe. I won't give their names, my way of protecting the innocent. I won't however, protect the guilty. Pineapple Hill, your Irish Stew was poison. You should never serve it again. At this time, I move that anyone who reads this avoid eating at Pineapple Hill @ 4454 Van Nuys Blvd in Sherman Oaks less you want to end up like the rest of us. OK, maybe that's a little harsh... just be wary. As for the LA County Health Department, you need to outlaw Irish Stew, unless made by the Irish, or Gordon Ramsey. Even then, you might want to double check it to be sure.

On a separate note, look for some awesome news in the coming weeks about my Involvement in a Indie Film being shot here in LA called "LA Paranormal." Till next time...

JLP

Late Night TV, Where Have You Gone?

Late Night TV is at an all time low with me. Conan has left us, replaced by the infamous and unfunny "Chin." Letterman is, well, he's Letterman. That guy and Paul Shaffer just annoy me.


So I'm left looking for another option. It's like Democrat and Republican. Really there's no good third solution. Tonight, I'm gonna watch Kimmel. Maybe he's got the show that can finally break through. Then tomorrow I'm gonna watch... what's his name, you know the unfunny Mexican guy... George Lopez. Who knows, at this point I might even hit the public access channel to find something. Keep checking back, and by week’s end, I'll tell you who is the "best" in late night.

UPDATED!!

So I watched Kimmel last night. When I looked at him, all I could think was, "this was once the guy on "the Man Show." Then I began to get sad thinking about what Disney (that's who owns ABC guys) does to awesome things. Anyway, I guess it was OK, but I didn't feel satisfied. So tonight, I'll check out George Lopez. We'll see how that goes. Till then, stay tuned.

JLP

Changes... Sketches... Chachi Arcola...

So, for those 3 of you who actually go to my website, (www.jlpfilms.com) I'm sure you've noticed that the site basically looks like crap right now. I want to apologize to you for that, but I am in the middle of having the site re-modeled. Once completed, I will let you all know, so you can give me feedback on it. So please, bear with me.


In the mean time, let’s talk shop. I had the privilege of working with In Rare Form again last week. We shot a new sketch video based on their improv comedy, so look for that to hit the inter webs later this week. Once again, I continue to be amazed at how awesome those guys can be. Hopefully, you should see more collaboration with those guys real soon.

You want more celebrity sightings, you got'em. I was having breakfast at Bob's Big Boy in Burbank, when Heather looks up and says, "There's Scott Baio." I turned and sure enough, there he was... and no, he didn't ask me for any Raspberry syrup. He was with his family and true to my code of conduct; I don't bother actors that are out and about unless they are named Patrick Duffy. This is actually the second know actor I've seen at Bob's. A few months back, I ran into Mathew Lillard there as well. Of course Bob's is just across from Warner Brothers and right down from NBC, so I imagine if I went there more often, I would see a lot of different folks.

Anyway, that's all I got for now. Keep an eye out for iConnect from In Rare Form; it should be coming to the Youtubes very soon.

JLP

A Year In LA

So I've made it! (Depending on the time frame you use) I have been in L.A. for a year now. That's an amazing feet if you think about it for a moment. Basically, a year ago, I loaded up my car, and moved 3,000 miles away from everything I knew, without any idea where I'd live, no job lined up, and no real plan other than, I knew this was the place I needed to be. To date, at least from the outside looking in, it's been a pretty boring adventure. There have been no swinger’s type moments. I've not been to any crazy Hollywood parties. Well actually, I did attend my first Hollywood party two weeks ago. It was an interesting affair with a lounge act and a vat of black out margaritas. But other than that... I don't have anything awesome to report on.


So I want to take a moment to thank a few people who have made my L.A. experience awesome. First I want to thank Staples Office Supply Superstore, without you I might have found a real job sooner and not spent so much of my savings trying to make ends meet while being completely miserable for 3 months. I would like to thank in and Out Burger for always giving me the runs. Then there's Ralph's (Kroger for those back east) for being so damn close. I would also like to thank EA Active for the Wii for helping me get back into the swing of losing weight. Other's I'd like to thank include: My parents for still talking to me. My car for not dying yet; my former roommates for reminding me why I hate having roommates; McDonalds for the dollar menu; Trader Joe's for making me want to eat healthier; My former roommates for dicking me over as often as they could. Jessie and Mindy Spencer, you guys are great. UCB and Nick Wiger for showing me that sketch writing can be fun despite not being my favorite. All the members of In Rare Form for letting me be part of their family. Cris Aris for giving me swine flu; B&H for giving me a place to spend my money; Heather Horton you're just awesome, and finally LA traffic for making me afraid of little Asian people.

Without all of you, none of this would have been possible!

JLP

Good Sports

A month ago I was asked by Heather, to help her come up with ideas for 5 video sketches. I felt a lot of pressure because A) I didn’t want to let her down; and B) I wasn’t sure if they would be funny.

Despite my time and training at UCB, this wasn’t a table read, this was going to out there for everyone to see. I worked out the script, and sent it over… positive feedback. There was hope.
So thank you to Jamie for your time and energy (and getting clobbered over and over), I look forward to working with you again. Also, thank you Heather for having the faith in me to be the one to help you with this project. I can’t wait till the next one.
So here it is folks, enjoy it. And keep an eye out, because this is just the beginning .
JLP

Patrick Duffy, IHOP, and Raspberry Syrup

So I’m sitting at the IHOP at 2 in the morning, when I look up and who do I see walking toward me… Patrick flippin Duffy. That’s right kids, Bobby Ewing. So, I’m eating my Country Fried Steak and Eggs, and he walks up and he’s like, “Can I use your raspberry syrup, mines all out.” So I’m sitting here thinking to myself, "This is Patrick Duffy, this is the only man who could ever stand up to J.R." This is the man who had to suffer through being married to Suzanne Somers for 6 seasons. So he asks me for my syrup so naturally I’m like, “Hell no Patrick Duffy, get your own damn syrup, this is mine.” He looks at me, and he’s like, “Seriously?” and I was like, “Yeah, seriously. Now get on back to your table, I’m trying to eat here.”

What can I say, that was so satisfying. Every so often he would look over at me, and he just seemed so sad, and of course I didn’t even use the raspberry syrup. Who does? That stuff is nasty.

So as I went to pay, I noticed he was staring at me again. So as I signed my Credit card slip, I signed my name on a random piece of paper, walked over to his table and slapped it down in front of him and said, “I noticed you kept staring at me Patrick Duffy. Even though the sign on the door says “No Pictures, No Autographs” I decided to give it to you anyway.” Then I smiled at him, turned back to my friends and walked out. Just think... I just made Patrick Duffy’s night.

JLP

Thoughts from LAX

Nothing says Christmas like standing in line at the airport, and nothing says airport like standing in line surrounded by the aroma of bad breath and body peer. Seriously people, just because you're on an early flight doesn't mean there's no reason to take a shower, or take a mint. I have mints, I'll give you one.


So since I've been here, I've made an observation about our airport security. First, for you travelers out there, shoes go on the belt this holiday season, not in the tray. Second, why put ropes up if your just gonna let everyone go under them. If you are wearing any sort of camouflage, you go to the front of the line, military or not. I just watched as a Middle Eastern looking gentleman was searched and wanded for about 20 minutes. He looked pissed and I don't blame him, he didn't even get a cigarette after.

For all you travelers out there be prepared this holiday season and arrive early for your flight. I got to LAX at 5 am so there were only 2000 people in the southwest terminal rather than the 5000 that are normally here.

Oh well, that's all for now. Happy Holidays everyone, and good luck out there.

JLP

LORENZO VON MATTERHORN

So, for those of you who watch "How I Met Your Mother," you know what the name Lorenzo Von Matterhorn refers to, and for those of you who don't... that's for the best. So what does this mean? Well today I assisted a friend and college in setting up his own Lorenzo Von Matterhorn scheme. No this is not illegal, but it is highly immoral. OK, so for those of you with no idea what I'm talking about. the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is a pick up move that a man uses on a woman. It involves making her think he's rich/famous/all of the above, then having a set of websites that confirm the elaborate story you've just told. Of course the name Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is now too recognizable and a new name had to be chosen, and no I can not give that name for fear it would ruin his chances of success. See here's the thing, I'm in no way in favor of lying or game playing to pick up the opposite sex. I am, however, extremely curious to see if this can work. At the very best, it could be the greatest crash and burn story ever. Either way, I'll keep you posted.

JLP

Knott’s Scary Farm

Sorry folks, no story today. I had a trip to Knott’s Scary (Berry) Farm. It was cool, reminded me of the good ole days of Opryland. Why have you forsaken me Opryland, why? I guess tomorrow I’ll cook up something extra special for you all.

JLP

Browington and the Wampus Cat

My dad’s side of the family has long been settled in the community known as Browington Tennessee. In fact, if you drive through, you’ll notice the Parks name on lots of roads. Several legends and stories come from this area. One of which is the Marble Plains Baptist Church. The Church, which is only yards from the entrance to the Tim’s Ford State Park, is the source to one of the most horrific stories I’ve heard, and it’s true.

In the early 1900s, during a Sunday service, a man named Dwight Denkins decided he had had enough of being the community outcast. He barricaded the front doors and boarded up the back doors. He then proceeded to see the church on fire. Due to the fact that the widows were too high off of the ground, and the doors were sealed shut, everyone burned alive.

Now of course, this is a terrible story. However, that’s not the end of it. The church was rebuilt exactly as it had been; on the exact same spot it was located before the fire.

If that weren’t enough, years later, the church was remodeled. A new entrance was added and a large kitchen was constructed on the back of the church. The only problem, there was nowhere to add these additions as the cemetery was too close to the church. So, in a move worthy of the movie Poltergeist, the additions were built on top of the graves. Supposedly some of the graves were moved, however, you can clearly see old headstone built into the foundation of the kitchen attached to the back of the church.

The Browington area is also the location for the story my grandfather told me about the time he, his brother, and a man named Carol Lewis were in the woods Raccoon hunting. Avid hunters, the men had been on this same hunt dozens of times. Of course like all of these hunting trips, at some point in the night, there is a lull of sorts when the dogs are off doing their thing. It’s at this point that my grandfather and his cohorts decide to sit, and have a drink. On this particular night, they didn’t get the chance. No sooner than they sat down, they heard the dogs barking wildly, and then they heard the dogs running toward them. As the dogs sped past without stopping, they heard something else. It was much louder and bigger than a dog, and was moving through the trees and the brush very fast, much faster than the dogs. Suddenly a terrible odor filled the air as whatever has coming toward them let out what has been described to me as a “very unnatural growl.” Without another thought, the three men were off running back toward their truck. Behind them, whatever it was was getting closer. Finally, they got to the truck, climbed inside and locked the doors. Minutes later, the creature arrived and began climbing on the truck shaking and clawing it violently. After a while, whatever it was gave up, and went on its way. The men stayed in the truck till sun up.

The next morning, they climbed out of the truck to find the vehicle covered in deep claw marks. The terrible smell lingered also. Around the truck were tracks left by the animal. It appeared from the tracks that whatever it was, it stood upright, and only had three toes or claws. The claw marks on the truck also showed only three claws. Under the truck, the men found there dogs, too scared to come out, but otherwise unharmed. To this day, ask my grandfather what attacked them that night, the only words from his mouth are, “Catty Wampus.”

The “Catty Wampus” or “Wampus Cat” as it is more commonly known by is a creature of legend in Tennessee and around the southern states. Said to be a creature from Cherokee Indian lore, there are tons of reported incidents that have been blamed on the creature.

JLP

The Witches Grave

Growing up in Lynchburg, you get to hear and experience a lot of unusual things. I personally have never seen a ghost, or anything I have ever perceived to be a ghost. My older brother on the other hand, has seen a lot of strange things on several occasions, like the shadowy figure that floated through the bedroom and closed the door on him at my grandmother’s house. Someone once told me that certain people are more in tune to see these kinds of things. I do believe in ghosts, and for most of my adolescent life I had heard of one in particular in the neighboring town of Tullahoma. Off of Highway 55, behind the National Guard Armory lies People’s Cemetery.


It is here that the “Witches Grave” is supposed lie. All of my friends in Middle and High School would tell me how they would go there and walk around grave and chant her name and crazy things would happen. I’ve heard of cars starting on their own, crazy lights and orbs chasing people from the area, the wind swirling up and blowing so hard that people could stay standing. Once again, I’ve never seen any of things and I had never actually seen the witch’s grave until my third year of college. It was this year that I was writing for the school paper and decided to write an article about ghosts and legends across the state. Of course, being the good little anthropology student that I was, I had to do some research. So one weekend, while I was home from school I decided to visit the witch’s grave.

I knew I had found it immediately. It was a three foot tall stone pillar with two smaller grave stones on each side. Candles had been burned on the grave stones and it was obvious lots of people had visited the site due to the amount of wear around the area. I spent about an hour at the location waiting for something to happen, but of course I got nothing. So like the true man of science I am, I decided to go to the local library and see if I could dig up any information on both the legend and the facts of the witch’s grave.

I learned legend said that the grave belonged to a woman named Kitty Kathy, and she was said to be a witch who lived near Normandy in an old shack. It was said she was responsible for a string of missing children that plagued the area in the 1960s. When she died, she was buried at People’s Cemetery and her old shack was torn down. The grave draws a cult following of pagans and wiccans who are said to perform séances on the grave.

The only facts I was able to gather showed the set of stones belonged to a Romanian Family who moved to the area in the 1890s. The person known as Kitty Kathy, her grave is actually one of the smaller stones and there is no evidence that anyone buried there was ever a witch. However, I did find strong evidence that they may have been gypsies that immigrated to the area before the turn of the century to avoid persecution.

So no proof either way... I have been to the grave site once since, a couple of years ago and the large pillar has been torn down and stolen or thrown away. The used candles and coins were still there, telling me that the witch’s grave appears to still be business as usual. For me, if I were in Tullahoma, I would travel a bit further down Highway 55 to Concord Cemetery to visit the grave site of Sadie Baker, whose ghost is one of the state's oldest known, and has been seen on many occasions sitting at her headstone playing with her dolls. Until next time…

JLP