Friday, July 29, 2011

You Can't Give Yourself A Nickname...

No, you probably aren't.
If I could describe myself, I would use words like funny, charming, intellectual, and creative. Never once would you see the words, procrastinate, stubborn, impulsive, or impatient, the words I figure most people use to describe me. You see for me, "describing" yourself is about as vain and douchey as giving yourself a nickname. I have had several nicknames in my life, some I like(d) some I hopefully will never hear uttered to me again. They were all given to my by other people though, never of my own device.

Living in Hollywood, and having to be around people that are constantly selling themselves, trying be a 'brand," I guess I should be used to all of this now, but for some reason I'm not. It's something I find I must do myself sometimes. Though I'm always careful to never cross that line, and trust me, it's a fine line. So, I have created a guide to let you know if you are crossing the line, and stepping into the world of being a sell out or just an outright douche.


  • If  you you describe your sense of humor as (insert adjective here), but people just don't get it... Most likely you've chosen poorly. Just because you think you're quirky, or adorable or whatever doesn't mean you are, it just means you want to be. In reality, you could be mean, insensitive, or just plain unfunny and never really know it. Hell, it took me a very long time to learn that my sense of humor is very dry, at least I'm told.
  • Anytime you give yourself a nickname.
  • If you go out of your way to call yourself a geek or nerd, you're probably not. I know nerd is cool now, but just because you have an iPhone and like Star Wars, doesn't mean your a nerd. Actually, if you were a nerd, you would have a hacked android phone and know why the Millennium Falcon is so much faster than any other ship in light speed (186,000 miles per second) even though they are all going the same speed.Or you might know the best type of crystal to focus a light saber. (correct answer: Kaiburr crystal).
  • A real geek owns this rare 1977 Star Wars t-shirt, but never wears it.
  • If you describe yourself as a "Brand," or in the third person.
  • You are either a leader of people or you are not. That's just the way it is. You can't learn to lead, you can't be taught to inspire. Just because you are in charge, doesn't mean people will follow you.
Expect this list to grow with future posts, as this is just the tip of a much bigger issue. In fact feel free to comment with your own if you've got them.  As for today's lesson... Bottom line, be yourself, and if you're funny, you'll be funny, if you're a leader, you'll lead, and if geek, you'll buy all seven versions of the Blu-ray Star Wars box sets that will be coming out in the next three years. 

P.S. this post is not about any one actual person, it's a collection of thoughts I've collected observing many people. So if you get offended by something in this post, I promise, it was not directed at you... though it could mean you probably are a douche.

1 comment:

  1. If only said douche(s) would read, understand and correct their doucheness.

    ReplyDelete