Ex-ESPN writer Anthony
Federico released an apology on Monday calling a racial slur he made against
New York Knicks guard Jeremy Lin, "an honest mistake." Federico went
on to say, “That’s the last time I ask Brett Ratner for help writing an article."
In Tennessee, a bill dubbed
the "Don't Say Gay Bill," passed the state legislature's education subcommittee
last week, which would prohibit the open use of the word "Gay" in all
Tennessee public schools. Many in the state are worried that if the bill
passes, their kids won't know what to call marching band members anymore.
Recent Grammy winner
Kevin Mackie has returned to his job at a Pennsylvania supermarket
just a week after his big win. It just goes to show you, Grammys come and go,
but a 2 for 1 sale on Grand’s Biscuits won't re-stock itself.
The Republican primary
race heats up again this week in Arizona highlighted by yet another CNN debate.
Though political experts aren't ready to predict a winner, the loser will, once again, be
anyone who watches.
A dock worker
was killed in Portland Oregon, this weekend, by falling into a vat of deadly toxic chemicals. In
other news, a study in Portland Oregon has proven that falling into a vat of
toxic chemicals will not make you a real life super hero.
And finally, a Florida
woman is asking for help locating a gun that she lost at a Tallahassee shopping
mall Sunday. The woman says she only carries the gun with her for
protection, just in case "shit goes down" at the Wetzel's Pretzels.
*The JLP’s Daily News is
comedy satire, and should not be taken seriously. No animals were hurt during
the writing of this article.
