LORENZO VON MATTERHORN

So, for those of you who watch "How I Met Your Mother," you know what the name Lorenzo Von Matterhorn refers to, and for those of you who don't... that's for the best. So what does this mean? Well today I assisted a friend and college in setting up his own Lorenzo Von Matterhorn scheme. No this is not illegal, but it is highly immoral. OK, so for those of you with no idea what I'm talking about. the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is a pick up move that a man uses on a woman. It involves making her think he's rich/famous/all of the above, then having a set of websites that confirm the elaborate story you've just told. Of course the name Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is now too recognizable and a new name had to be chosen, and no I can not give that name for fear it would ruin his chances of success. See here's the thing, I'm in no way in favor of lying or game playing to pick up the opposite sex. I am, however, extremely curious to see if this can work. At the very best, it could be the greatest crash and burn story ever. Either way, I'll keep you posted.

JLP

My First LA Murder

So I got to experience my first murder in LA today. No, it's not what you think, I was not directly involved. It did cause quite a headache trying to park this morning. As I turned onto Cochran Street I noticed a CBS van in front of my office. As I drove down further, I noticed the rest of the street had been taped off and I couldn't get to the parking lot because, well ever news station in LA had set up shop in the street. Plus, there were about three medical examiner's cars in the way. Of course this was all about a hundred yards from my office.

I know, I know... what happened Jeff? Honestly, all I can tell you is what the news guy told me. It seems a woman in police protective custody was stabbed to death with cops literally a few feet away. The murder snuck into the woman's apartment while the cops were sitting outside in their car. When they finally realized what was happening, they shot the suspect dead. The woman, however, died of her wounds. http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-mid-city-ois,0,517517.story

To me this raises the question, "was it really that bad?" I mean I've had my share of bad relationships. I've even dated a few crazies in my time. But I've never thought, "I wanna climb into your bathroom window from the roof, so I can stab you." Anyway, so I've gotten robbery and murder out of the way. Hopefully that's it for a while.

In other news, I spent last night enjoying improv comedy at the Comedy Store on Sunset. For those of you who were there, you know what I'm talking about, for those of you who were not (and live in LA) you should really check these guys out. It's well worth your time. Visit www.laconnectioncomedy.com and www.inrareformcomedy.com for more information.

So that's all I got for today. For you Road Home fans, looks like the DVD should be available this holiday season. Can you say "Stocking Stuffer." I'll keep you informed. Until next time.

JLP

Long Live Franken Berry

Too long has the mainstream media kept a brilliant man and cereal like Franken Berry down. Sure, he doesn't have the market ability of Count Chocula, are the attractiveness of a Boo Berry. In fact, Franken Berry is really a chud (look at that forehead). What he does have is a delicious and unique cereal. Seriously, who else has strawberry flavored cereal. And if you were lucky enough to be alive in the 70's, it might have even turned your skin pink. I know Chocula is, well chocolate and he's a vampire. Lets face it, thanks to those douchey Twilight losers, vampires are the all the rage right now. All I'm asking is where's the heart? Just because because he's not as sexy as a vampire, or cute like a ghost, he gets treated like Lennie Smalls. Kill one young, attractive woman, whatever. I say Franken Berry is the man, and if anyone has a beef with that, they can go eat some over hyped Count Chocula and the Strawberry goodness to the rest of us.

JLP